perfectly imperfect

Love with the pain
Soak in your fears
Take up your cross
Walk through the tears

Pierce through that bubble
Of work-til-you-drop:
Subtle suppression,
Mind-numbing rot

Cut out the music,
Turn off the phone,
Stand in the present
Be there, alone

Feel every inch
Of emotions that flow
The good and the bad
The fast and the slow

Breathe in the dark
Mixed with the light
Succor the sadness
Exhale the bite

Be all that you are
With each shaky breath
Embrace all of your human,
Intuition and depth

Handle the ugly 
Which won’t set you free
Hold it with love
And acceptance to be
Awake and alive
Infantile and sore –
It’s part of your being,
Not something to ignore.

Imperfection so pure, 
So docile, yet rough –
Not meant to shame, 
Or excuse with rebuff.

We can’t pick our parts,
Can’t upgrade our clay
We can either exclude, 
Or embrace us 

Today

I was a Bird

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I got drunk on a lie

And you turned me
Into a bird

With feathers of gold,
And silver, and
Lace

And lashes so
Long and
Glorious

My wild hair
Fell to my
Shoulders
And my
Hips

And I could fly
To the tune of
My heartbeat

Fluttering
Fluttering
Fluttering

You ruined
Me
That night

But the stars
Laughed as we
Sang into the
Darkness

Feeling the
Sweet summer
Settle onto
Our bare skin

I was a bird
And I flew into
The nest of your
Gaze

And you held
Me
So tightly,
Wrapped around
My waist

And I sang

I sang for you
And for me
And for the
Hope of tomorrow

That drunken
Dreams were
Reality

That the wealth
Of a thousand
Passionate
Kisses
Could sustain
Your shallow
Breath
And muted eyes

I was a bird
And I flew
Naked into
Your heart
Without a
Care or
A worry

Riding a
Liquid wave
Of a fool’s
Dream

I was magic
I was divine
I was innocent
And true

I was a bird
And you
Swallowed me
Whole

And I flung
Myself
Into your arms
And cried 

I had to walk away…

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I had to walk away

There was poison
In the air
And festered wounds
And heavy
Black
Slugs

Wrapped in paper
Bows of pink
And white
And grey

I had to walk away

From scaly teeth
That sucked and
Slithered golden
Lies of
Refuge

Doting on the
Hopes and dreams
Of tomorrows
And nows
And yores

I had to walk away

You stank
Of sweaty smoke
And sticky
Acrid
Terrors
That would
Never sleep

You wept harder
With you fingers
Down her throat

And rushed to
Fake remorse
With every drop
Of life that made
Its way down
Sodden legs

I had to walk away

Because I knew
Too much
And stayed
And stayed
And stayed

And stained

Dignity
With such
Indignant solitude
That it ripped
Out of my body,
Rearing it’s sickly,
Tortured head
With such pathetic
Cries of
Injustice and
Prostitution of the soul
That I defecated
What was left of
Who I was

And ran away

I had to run away

And find a
Living soul

Pretending

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I laid on the rocks 
And you watched
Me cry

Trying to hold my
Hand 
Trying to kiss my
Mouth

Pretending
Pretending
Pretending

That the world
Hadn’t just
Shattered 

The desert
Watched
The stars
Wandered

Across an
Endless sky

And you poured
Blood
And piss
Down my ear

And I listened

Pretending
Pretending
Pretending

That the world
Hadn’t just 
Shattered

Your voice
Was mute
Your eyes
Were glazed
Your body
Was poisoned

For days you 
Lied
Four days you 
Swam

And I knew

Pretending
Pretending
Pretending

That our world
Hadn’t just
Shattered 

More Than Air

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I loved you
More than air

We would ride
Under sun’s light
With no desination

In the simplest 
Moments,
We sang about 
Nothing 

And laughed
Till we cried

Your eyes would
Sparkle 
And glisten
With life

The smell of 
your skin
The brush of
Your hand
Rendered me 
Drunk with bliss 

I loved you
More than air

I loved you 
Till I died 

My tiny 
Shards
Strewn
Across
The
desert
Scape

No sleep
Was deep
Enough
To change
Me back
To life 

I loved you 
More than air

And saw myself
Disappear 
Before my 
Very eyes 

I’m Ready

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​I’m ready to talk 
About the summer days
Where you ripped me up
With glass teeth
And a smokescreen 

I’m ready to talk
About the endless nights
Where sweat and tears
Filled little shot glasses,
Over brimming

I’m ready to talk 
About the rings on 
Your fingers
The morning you
Slept through my gaze 

I’m ready to talk
About the naked stares
That shook my insides
When I realized that 
You had finally died 

I’m ready to talk 
About the smell of your
Breath the day you
Shook the jug from
My fragile hands 

I’m ready to talk 
About the empty ache 
That yielded my body
Tiny, numb, and 
Lifeless

I’m ready to talk
About the day you
Disappeared
Like Samson into
Rubble

I’m ready to talk

Because I survived

Picture 

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A picture 
of a dead man,
Living in his sleep

Dreaming of
tomorrows,
Broken promises
Won’t keep.

Threading veins of
Glory with
Boozy shots of
Praise

Elevating imagery,
Muddling the
Maze.

Fingering a victim
Shrouded in a trance,

Kissing bloody fingers,
Signifying romance.

Splinter
Storm
Strike
Reform

Eat the human race.
They don’t know
The images
That lifeless eyes have traced.

Building up
Allegiances
Beyond the
Customed lot

Forging happy
Faces,
Sharing spirits from
the pot.

Eat the lamb’s wool,
Tie the knot,
Bite the battered pangs

Delightfully, you’ve been
Denied the liveliness
Of fame.

You’d fall victim
Once again,
And further still
You’d dive

Into a coma,
Built with bone,
A suffocating hive.

A sepulcher of dingy
Rot,
Rocking back in
Time,

Have you forgotten,
Dearest one,
That you were once
In mine?

A picture of a
Dead man,
Lying still,
In place.

If only I could
See your eyes,
and hit that
Weary face. 

Dead Man 

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What is it like loving a dead man?
Dreaming in your sleep.
Keeping up appearances
With blood stains on your feet.

Dabbling witchcraft with the past,
Fucking up your future,
Lying in a vat of booze
Fumbling with the sutures.

Has it only been a year?
Or 2, or 3, or 10?
What’s the difference, any way? –
I’ll wear you on my skin.

Bruises on my pillows
Bleeding at the veins,
Thrashing at a terror
Who won’t dare to speak your name.

It’s a devastating feeling
Falling outside of the glass 
You hit the ground,
A heavy sound,
Landing on your ass.

Killing buzzes,
Losing funds,
Mopping up your liquor.
Chasers taking pleasant treads
Into the sink to bicker.

What once was now
Is now alone
Inside my skull to mend.

What is it like loving a dead man?

Losing my best friend. 

Regret

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My head bleeds as I lie on the ground
Softly humming a melody of peace.

There aren’t many thoughts there, now,
Only memories,
And shadows –
Deep fears
Long forgotten.

Eating at my brain,
Those little lizards
Pick locks and
Scatter what
Should have been
Left alone –

Filthy, wanton thoughts
Degrade a heathen mind,
Muddle the wanderer,
And strike down the
Valiant,

But not me.
No.
I linger in precious
Agony –

Lifeless,

And listless –

Crouching under rocks
And waiting for the sun
To shine.

There will be no sunshine
Tonight.

There will be nothing
Glorious.

There will be no
Honor.

But I take it all back.
The errors are mine.
And you cannot dwell there

For long.

Moonlight

Dance with me
Into the night
Forget the rays of
Day.

Pretend tomorrow isn’t there
Remain with me,
Just stay.

Stay around me longer,
Let me drink you in
Let me feel your
presence,
As it presses on my skin.

Maybe it’ll change me.
Maybe I’ll feel right.
Maybe I’ll be perfect
As the moon shine glitters
Bright.

Our steps will
Mirror nonsense.

My heart’s patters
Will amend
The fact that I’m
Not stronger.

That my actions
Lost a friend.